


We Each Got Something (the other will never have)

by Claire8216



Series: Song-fics [2]
Category: Figure Skating RPF, Olympics RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, Songfic, With A Twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 20:12:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14268657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claire8216/pseuds/Claire8216
Summary: I could pinpoint the exact moment I knew I had lost you forever. We had been skating around, just for fun, when she walked in. And the way you turned to look at her, the stars I saw in your eyes, the same ones I used to see when you looked at me, broke my heart.“I’m going to go say hi,” you had told me, never taking your eyes off of her. You didn’t come back to skate with me that day.ORHer thoughts during Scott's wedding





	We Each Got Something (the other will never have)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, so this is just a little something I came up with as I was listening to a song the other day. 10 points to *insert Harry Potter House here* if you guess the song! (It shouldn't be too hard, I use the lyrics in the story!)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Dear Scott,

I honestly, truly don’t know why I’m writing this to you. I guess a part of me, feeling nostalgic after arriving home from your wedding, wanted to write out everything I was feeling – everything I’ve been feeling – for years. Why I chose to do that in letter form to you is a mystery to us all.

The second I saw your picture in the paper, the picture with _her_ , announcing your engagement, I didn’t know what to think. I was thrown off, that was for sure. Not because I hadn’t been expecting it, but because even just _seeing_ the two of you together brought up too many memories, too many times when I had dreamed about you and me one day being the couple in the paper, ready to take on the world together as a united front.

I was even more thrown off when I received an invitation to your wedding a few weeks later. The last time I had talked to you, things didn’t go very well.

 _“This is bullshit,” I had said. “You’re about to thrown away how many years? And for what? For_ her _?”_

_You couldn’t do anything but look down at the floor, clenching your jaw, as you would always do when you were frustrated, whether it’s with yourself or someone else. “Yes, for her, but it’s not in the way you think-”_

_“Oh give it a rest, Scott. You can lie to yourself, but don’t lie to me. I would hope that I mean more to you than that.”_

_You finally looked up at me, eyes glazed over with unshed tears, and in that moment, I knew that anything I said couldn’t stop you from leaving._

_“I’m so sorry.”_

But that had been so long ago. So that’s how I found myself four months later, stepping into the beautiful room that had been decorated to perfection just for the two of you. Of course, the first person I ran into was your mother.

“Darling,” she said, giving me a long, bone crushing hug. “How _are_ you? It’s been so long!”

I smiled at her. “I’m doing great,” I told her. It wasn’t a lie. Since we had stopped being an _us_ , I had made quite the name for myself. “Been keeping pretty busy, but it’s been a good busy.”

She squeezed my hand. “I’m so glad. Oh, Scott’s going to be so happy that you made it!”

I laughed. “Well, they did invite me, so hopefully it’s not too much of a surprise. How’s he doing, anyway?” I asked as if I didn’t already know.

Alma breaks into an even bigger smile. “He’s great. He’s very, _very_ happy.”

“I’m glad,” I told her with a soft smile. “Really, I am.”

She squeezed my hand again, but this time with sympathy. “I know that he really put you through the ringer, darling. But trust me, I think this is how things were always supposed to turn out.”

I couldn’t disagree with her on that.

I could pinpoint the exact moment I knew I had lost you forever. We had been skating around, just for fun, when she walked in. And the way you turned to look at her, the stars I saw in your eyes, the same ones I used to see when you looked at me, broke my heart.

“I’m going to go say hi,” you had told me, never taking your eyes off of her. You didn’t come back to skate with me that day.

I knew I should have ended things then and there, but I was young and selfish, and I kidded myself into thinking that what I saw that day wasn’t real. I told myself that I had so much more with you, so many more firsts than she will ever get to have. First kiss, first love, first everything. We had such history with each other, and I told myself that above all, _I_ was the one with you. _I_ was the one you came home to. _I_ was the one who got the boy.

Oh, how wrong I had been.

Because there I was, taking a seat at your wedding, but not _our_ wedding. When you walked out and took your place at the altar, I couldn’t help but look you over. It’s been a long time – too long – since I’ve last seen you. You’d always been handsome to me, but I can help but think about how much more handsome you’d gotten with age. How grown up and mature you looked in that tux. What a stark contrast to our younger years, when all you wanted to wear was t-shirts and baseball hats, driving around in a pick-up truck. When you would take me into the countryside on a four-wheeler, laughing as I latched onto you as tight as I could, terrified about your reckless driving, but secretly loving it. I told you I hated it at the time, but what I wouldn’t give to go back to those simpler times, when we felt unstoppable. Fearless and young.

But as I watched you up there, waiting for your soon to be wife, I realized that those memories will always be just that – memories. Because now, _she_ gets the future. _She_ gets the last kiss. _She_ gets the diamond ring. _She_ gets the man. And I get left with memories.

I have to admit, Scott. I didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to the ceremony. I didn’t pay attention as she walked down the aisle. I didn’t pay attention when the two of you said your vows. I didn’t pay attention when you exchanged rings. In fact, the first time that I really, truly paid attention to the ceremony was when it was over. When the officiant announced the two of your as husband and wife for the first time.

“I present to you for the first time, Scott and Tessa Moir!”

Because after that it was truly over. And the story had ended exactly the way the world always believed it would. With Scott and Tessa.

And so as I sit here now, writing this letter to you, I am bombarded with one thought. You never were _mine_. All those years ago, when I realized who you were really in love with, I had fooled myself into thinking that our relationship was more solid than it was. I told myself that if you couldn’t even realize that you loved her, could you really, actually _love_ her? I allowed myself to believe that what we had was a once in a lifetime love, and nothing could touch it. I always knew that the two of you would have skating. That would always be your thing. But I let myself believe that we, too, had something different that you and Tessa could never have.

But we all know the reality, Scott. Tessa had skating, friendship, trust and love from you. She had everything I had from you at one point but amplified, plus more. You’d always credited Tessa to being your first kiss, even if I was your first _real_ kiss. And we all know that you have loved her, romantically or platonically, since you were nine. And yes, while you and I have a past, you and Tessa have _the_ past. She always has and always will have your past, present, and future. When we were together, it was always us plus Tessa. And back then, when you and Tessa were skating circles around each other, literally and figuratively, no one ever gave a second thought about me, not even you.

And that’s okay.

Because you were never mine to begin with. Your mom was right. It was always supposed to end like this. With you and Tessa. I got a few good years with the hot-head Scott Moir, and I’m so lucky that I did.

But Tessa had the hot-head Scott Moir and the cool and steady Scott Moir, all wrapped into one. She always has. Because you would be whatever she needed you to be.

I’m not writing this to you to make you feel bad, or guilty. I’m simply trying to make you understand. Understand why it is that you and Tessa were inevitable. Understand what it’s like on the outside looking in.

All of these years, I thought to myself, _Well at least I had the boy_.

But no. Tessa was the one who truly got the boy, and she is the only one who will ever get the man.

Congratulations on your wedding, Scott. Tessa is a lucky girl.

 

All the best,

Jessica

**Author's Note:**

> Not quite sure how much of a plot twist this was, tried to make it kind of like it was Tessa writing the letter the whole time but I don't know how much I succeeded at that haha. Either way, I enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoyed reading this!  
> Leave a comment letting me know what you thought!


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